im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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