SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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