Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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