I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize