I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize