Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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