Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
