@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
