After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
