it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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