I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
