One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
