Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
