Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
