They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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