The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
