I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
