she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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