I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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