My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
