i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
