Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
this just has baby written all over it
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
