Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
