Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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