It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
