HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
