idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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