y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
