Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
