he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
