which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she told me i tasted like america
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Dicks are not precious.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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