Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
how can u be prego again
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
