friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
