no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
