I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
