I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
