i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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