My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize