Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We are two peas in an std pod
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
