So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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