he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
