I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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