I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Boobs are out for the taking
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
