Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
