i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
