You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
