Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
