I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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