I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
