YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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