The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
