direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
that may or may not have been my penis.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
