24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize