heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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