bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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