Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
