party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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