The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
