just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize