can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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