he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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