My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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