I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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