do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
